He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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