u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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