Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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