Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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