so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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