is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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