As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!