weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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