Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize