im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
