respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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