pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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