So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
