Don't you send me to vm
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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