I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
