I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
