i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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