Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize