i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
