Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
