Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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