are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
