My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
