Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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