she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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