Pappa wants mamma naked
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
