I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
