she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize