I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm going to jail i love you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
