I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
