i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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