I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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