6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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