I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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