i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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