wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
