I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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