Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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