Sry I called you an 8
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She needs sedatives and a leash
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
