Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
