How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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