I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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