What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
