Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
