This is not my ceiling
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
