u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
