Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
they need to just BURY HIM!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And then my night got REAL pukey
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
