and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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