she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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