So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
