just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
