I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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