Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
