That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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